I have a son who is nearing the end of Kindergarten, he is a lovely little boy, smiles a lot, laughs a lot, but gets so easily frustrated when he doesn't get things perfect. Now, do not get me wrong, I find there is nothing wrong with a child that wants to make sure his school work is completed correctly, on time and to the best of his ability, but when that includes coming to an almost complete melt down because he hasn't reached the level of perfectionism he has set himself it makes me worry and I find myself wondering if I have put too much pressure on him?
As a child neither of my parents paid any attention to my education, my dad wasn't allowed to because my mother wouldn't allow it and my mother didn't pay attention because she had absolutely no time for me, but that's another story; so I wonder if am I to blame for my son pushing himself so hard? Every day my son and I read a book, or should I say I have him read a book to me, we learn new words and what they mean, I have him practice his handwriting and we work hard at his math skills, this is all on top of what he is expected to do at school; yes it may seem too much, but his school reports show that he is excelling in all areas and by Christmas he had already mastered the list of words he must know to graduate kindergarten.
Neither my husband nor myself were able to attend University prior to taking up employment, instead my husband joined the military, earned a BS in the IT field, graduating Magna Cum Laude, he just missed Suma Cum Laude by two points and he did all this whilst being in a war zone. I now hold Graduate Certificates with an average of 3.98 GPA, so you can see neither of us are lazy when it comes to academics, but we do want better for our son. We want him to have the opportunity to go to University first, to get a Masters or a Doctorate, we want him to do it the right way and not have to work two jobs, not have to go to work and school full time at the same time, we want him to know that by working hard in school he will set himself up for a good life, gaining scholarships to university if needs be.
Our son will never be athletic, not because he isn't a team player or is lazy but because of issues at birth that will restrict him from many high school sports, so instead he is going to have to rely heavily on his academics and volunteer work to gain those scholarships; we've also told him if he gets straight A's in University we will pay for his classes, hopefully as he grows older he will understand the opportunities we are trying to provide him and he will work hard and go far.
As I write this I can see that there is a great deal of pressure put on our son's shoulders and I feel guilty, but then I think of the future he could have that we never had and somehow that guilt falls away.
Please don't think our son isn't rewarded for his hard work, he is and the rewards that he receives are of his choosing, like going to a museum, going on adventure hunts (geo-caching, look it up) and on the odd occasion he has even requested television time. We spend a lot of time outdoors, exploring the countryside and it inhabitants, we learn about the environment and what we can do to protect it, we are teaching him to be a good citizen, help when he can, take care of his surroundings and the things in it. Ours is a family life, filled with love and hugs, laughter and fun, we do family hugs before school and bed, we play and work hard as a family.
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